From executive producer Steven Spielberg

When I lose my virginity, I want it to be released to theaters nationwide, be "executive produced" by Steven Spielberg, and star Megan Fox.

First, cause I wanna fuck Megan Fox, or at least get a tug on my willy-nilly. But mostly because I'd like to see exactly what "From executive producer Steven Spielberg" means. Because from my understanding, that means that the guy either pays for the movie or profits from it in some way. I mean, how could it involve anything else?

I wanna see what that banner means in terms of involvement. Is Spielberg paying for a bit of it so it can pump up his standing on Forbes ("must defeat George, must defeat George!") when it makes money? Maybe. Or is it rather the "lazy producer" route, the one where somebody in the industry comes up with a one-sentence idea, makes a couple calls, and that's it til it's finished. I know Judd Apatow's that kind of producer. I have no reason to doubt Spielberg is one, too. Or that he does intend to retire in a shitty-film-blaze-of-glory. Go back to the well once more and let Indy raid the medicine cabinet. Sorry you were too dumb to accept that role in Traffic, Harrison, but maybe it's better if you all just left the franchise in the past and the DVD section where it belongs instead of winging it with a couple of half-digested ideas and enough money to feed many, many starving people. That is, it could've.

Get out of Spielberg's way, he's gotta do the Lincoln biopic! Because his life won't be legitimate until it's put up on the silver screen. What he did won't mean anything until Liam Neeson is nominated for his portrayel. No one will have heard of him until your advertising campaign allows the film to open No.#1 on whichever holiday season you choose. The name Abraham Lincoln won't mean anything until it's schmalzed, Hollywood style. Why, sir, if it weren't for you, everyone would just think it was a car company.

Think of all the hungry people who could be fed, who won't, because complacent people are too lazy to read a fucking history book.

More insanity to come...