Passerby were amazed by the large amount of blood...

It's 6:50 pm. I've decided to begin blogging, regardless of who reads it(if anyone at all ever does), for my own therapeutic benefit as well as personal amusement. They say you can't please everybody, so I've elected to not even try.

For some reason I've had the desire for some time to recount my life so far, so now's as good a time as any. I was born nearly 19 years ago and given the most childish name I can imagine. As a child I enjoyed lego's, movies, cartoons (especially Batman: The Animated Series, bar none the best adaptation of the Batman legend), my sega genesis, while my parents enjoyed arguing, hitting each other, and forgetting to inspire confidence in their only son. I attended EL elementary school and a short time after that they divorced, leaving me living with my mother and seeing my father on Wednsdays and the weekends.

I can remember having many, many friends who all seemed to be my best friend. I was swept up in the Pokemon craze as everyone else was (so deep I was just as much an expert with the ripoff cards as the real ones), but soon just settled for the Gameboy games. Then it was football cards; I can remember one of the all-time great injustices occuring when I left my prized collection in my bag at the cubby room at the after-school park I attended back then (more on that later) to go play basketball, and afterwards I returned to find them missing, including my favorite, Kurt Warner. So even at a young age I was already learning how cruel the fates can be.

I was an usually precocious child. I remember flirting with girls while other boys still thought they had cooties. My first crush was a girl named Alex, Alex with freckles and braces I think and beautiful red hair. I call it a crush now but didn't then; all it was then was a pretty girl who I imagined being the only other survivor of a vampire apocalyspe, and we would survive together, in love (this amazes me now, since I hadn't then and still haven't read or seen "I Am Legend" - I was infringing on so many copyrights without even knowing it). Nothing ever became of it, since I was a kid and didn't know what to do with it.

The first number I got was a girl I vaguely remember whom I'll call "Mary". Mary, on the last day of fourth grade, gave me a folded-up piece of paper with 7 digits written on the inside and smiled as she did so. I remember not asking my father nor my mother about it, and just ignored it. I still had no idea what was going on. The next year Mary didn't return to EL; thinking about it now, I shall boost my ego by concluding it was because she was irrevocably distraught from my not responding.

I also developed an early fascination with large breasts (although now I am ashamed how low my standards were back then). I remember one girl, "Marlene", who had the biggest rack in the whole school, and I was primed to feel them up. One day, at the park, I simply ran up to her and gave them a few good honks, and ran away. She was surprised but didn't tell on me, probably because of what a smooth charmer I was.

I remember being able to draw. Well. I remember playing Doom endlessly in the rec room. I remember wearing a confederate bandanna one day and not realizing why some people were offended. I remember the fire drills. I remember fucking OWNING at four-square. I remember watching sesame street while eating mcdonalds hash browns in the morning in the room designated for early drop-off. I remember running up to another girl and kissing her, and then not running away immediately afterwards because she was not mad. I regret not continuing to do those things as I got older.

I remember a lot of things, but my ass is starting to numb from sitting in this shitty office chair for so long, so I'll reserve them for later.

More insanity to come...